Sunday, March 08, 2009

Do not follow the crowd. Go your own way

Everybody is an individual and has to choose their own route in live. I have noticed a very common pattern amongst immigrants that come to Sweden. They always want to stick together, speak their home languages, compare Sweden to their countries and complain about Sweden. It is good to speak your language and have a talk with someone from your country but I think it should not be the goal or something you take as a huge part of your life when you move into a new country. I know it can be tough to make Swedish friends here but everything takes time and you must have the will and motivation to have them , know them and want to understand them before you want to think about friendship.

The truth it takes time to build relationships here and people are so skeptical of just getting into friendship with someone new. You just have to take it slowly. I encourage immigrants who come to Sweden to get out of their holes and stop sticking with a crowd of individuals from the same country confront the society, try to understand it than give up. Stop looking for negative things to say about the people to make you feel better. Are you really better than them? If you are really better than them you should not even be here in the first place. The airport is not that far. Instead take steps to understand the society; they are different of course as you are also different. There is nothing to compare about two nations. I say Cameroon is just a wonderful nation with wonderful people just as Sweden is a wonderful nation with wonderful people. From this point you are relax you start looking for opportunities and challenges. You understand a culture and make the best of it.

Staying in your little groups just will make you a frustrated individual and the group will never help you get any better here. Live is tough everywhere in the world. You have to come out from the little group and say goddamit! I am now in Sweden. Let me make the best of it. You will see how your life will change for the better. You will be happier and more relax and as I always say to everyone I meet Learn the Language if you got the chance. If you live in your little groups and stuck too it you will not even be interested to learn it because you speak your home language everyday and get by just fine but are you really living in Sweden or staying in Sweden? But you are living and behaving just like you did back in your country of origin. How can you integrate yourself ?

So the question is what do I do?

•Go your own way, do not follow the crowd
•Seek help and advice from those who have live here for a long time. You will be surprised what kind of help you can get from them.
•Be humble and honest. You can get your way just fine by being honest and humble.
•Ask questions and get to free seminars or forums to meet other people.
•Have fun and go to parties.
•Date a girl
•Be yourself and have and set clear goals for yourself and everyday move towards them and you will get to enjoy this lovely country and its people. You will be relaxed
• Meet your folks at times and have a chat and some fun and talk about your home country.
I hope you enjoy your stay and go your own way in Sweden.


Nano said...

GOOD ONE ....I like the way you put it ..

Anonymous said...

Hi Ngala,
My complements on this blog! You've put it together a nicely and with a really positive attitude!

I do have a question, however!

I moved to Sweden 4 years ago, and just started studying at Mälardalen (Eskilstuna). I'm finding it really, really hard to blend in with my classmates which is causing me a great deal of social anxiety actually. I'm not, never been, and will never be the type of person who seeks people from the same culture or country, but being the outsider of my group simply because I'm not swedish is really bumming!
How did you manage to keep yourself positive and not get depressed due to being an outcast while waiting for your fellow classmates to warm up to you?
Because right now I'm really feeling down.. even thought about moving actually!

Ngala T. said...

Hello the guy from Eskilstuna!
You have to believe in yourself as an individual and as a person.We know we have a wall to climb here in Sweden.You have to decide and be persistent to climb it.You have to choose to blend in if you really want.Try to see who leads the flock or start your own group in class.You got nothing to loose.Be confident.You have to flexible and follow your goals in Sweden.What are towards goals?
I kept my self positive by working towards my goals.Learning the language and never missing and opportunity to meet other Swedish people. I spoke load and clear and was proud of my heritage and respected theirs. I hope you try these things.